Jack and The Cell Phone Tower

While I am flattered that some one might think that my opinions mean something, I have to say that I am as ignorant as a rhubarb pie when it comes to cell phone waves.

I Googled "living next to a cell phone tower" and found what I thought I would find. There are pros, cons and "not enough information".

Maybe the "Jack and The Beanstalk" story originated from a previous era. The "Beanstalk" was really a cell phone tower, and of course "the giant" was some mutant form that had emerged from living at the base of the tower, then climbed to the top. Some poor goose farmer accepted money from this ancient cell phone company and the rest was history. A goose that laid golden eggs surely must have had some type of radioactive egg-chute is my guess. I have always been suspect about those beans that Jack carried. I've heard of people being down to seeds and stems, so perhaps being down to beans might have been desperate times.

As of last media reports, it seems to me that the site Principal has the ultimate authority to erect his/her tower. That metaphorical image might frighten a few elementary children, draw hordes of curiosity for middle school children and leave high school children wandering which team the tower plays for.

If I were trying to figure out what decision making processes this tower powered Principal used, my first question would be "How long are you going to be here at this school?" A Principal that is going to stay at least six years after the decision to trade money for an erection has more invested than a drive by, build and split, one-year tower prostitute that just makes the money and then leaves before the climax of events occurs.

What is the turnover rate for Principals and higher level staff at the current cell phone tower sites? Is there an extra health insurance charge for those employees who work under the long shadow of these purveyors of text messages? Is there an unwritten District transfer plan so that no employee stays under the span of phone waves for more than a specific amount of time? Can the school system be sued if it can be proved that pornographic material is transmitted by the tower firmly planted on public school grounds? While teachers can have sex with students until there is full public exposure, cell phone sexual activities are quickly hosed down, especially when the keys get sticky.

It should not be surprising to those of us who grew up in Fort Lonesome (9 miles east of Wimauma) that the same public system that at times tries to criminalize possession of cell phones on school campuses will accept money from the same company that makes the use of those phones possible. That is the same kind of logic as providing chicken wings to students and then expelling them for using the chicken wing as a make believe gun and saying "pow". That is the same kind of logic where the system has sex education classes with explicit discussions of how a penis enters a vagina with boys who can't make it through one day without emptying their seminiferous tubules at least once and then expel them when these boys and girls expand, explore and massage the nuances of their curriculum during study hall.


Having said all of that, I don't really have an informed opinion about cell phone towers, yet.