Today, we have a commentary in the Tampa Tribune: Parents Gone Wild: An Impediment to Education

To present her case of how "parents have gone wild", the author relates a story of a day of bad weather at high school release time in which a parent "goes wild" demanding that the parent's child be released for an orthodontist's appointment.

Later in the commentary, we are provided a new term to categorize some parents: "For years in education, we addressed the problem of the absentee parent, but an equally troublesome type has emerged: the vigilante parent."

Since my days as a parent of a student of the public school system are gone, I guess I have missed that moniker. This term is like a spin off of the old mantra: "First we blame the kid, then we blame the parent".


Interestingly enough, the author also preempts any chance of dismissal of her parental critique by making sure we know this event was not an "isolated incident", a common defense used when the public school system is accused of a wrongdoing.

At least the above "vigilante parent" was only "going wild" over her child and wasn't extending her authority to other kids. I wonder if the irate parent was aware that there was a written policy that says no students are to be dismissed when there is a lightening storm. I used to read my "student handbook" and don't remember seeing it, so it must be a new policy. I also wonder if this had been a "closed campus" as opposed to the identified "open campus", then the administrative decision to lock down the campus may not have happened. The answers to these questions would go far in reducing the strained relationship between "wild parents" and "professional educators".

Frequently, I hear or read stories, and used to experience first hand, incidents of poor professionalism on the part of a public school employee. I also am quick to read, and used to be told, a follow up comment that I should not judge in haste, and wait for the "other side of the story". In deference to due diligence, I too would like to hear the rest of the "vigilante parent's" story. There must have been some circumstances unknown to the rest of us of why the parent just "went wild". Perhaps there was only a short window of opportunity for the appointment and she knew her job was in jeopardy if she did not make it back in time. Perhaps her other child had to be picked up from another school, and she knew the other school would not tolerate her being late. There are a lot of hard working parents that are trying to do the best they can with what they have to work with.

The author makes a valid point with this statement about teachers: "Parents put their trust in us. We are held to a higher moral standard. When one of us screws up, the domino effect topples the integrity of every one of us."

If nothing else, school personnel of all levels should highlight the word trust. Every time a public school person gets cute with their defense, every time a public school person parses words, and every time a public school person alters or fabricates documents, out goes the trust.

I have one last, lingering question. I keep hearing that the downfall of our education system is due to the kids and the parents. So, why not get rid of the "teacher performance" money? Why reward the teachers for something they are not responsible for? Why not put the money towards "school system -parent-student" collaborative efforts so we can quit blaming each other?

Salt in the wound

As the parent who harbors many anecdotal stories of experiences with some public school personnel that exhibited ignorance and arrogance, this story stirs my memories.
Readers who have read my blog will realize that I recognize and am grateful for the real professionals and the hard work and dedication they gave to the success of my son.

As the saying goes, "one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch". For years, I use to qualify my complaints about the wrong doing of a specific teacher or administrator with complimenting the good things that others were doing. This practice of mine stopped after one of my speakings at a board meeting, after which my complaints were brushed aside and the feedback was what great accolades I gave to the school system. That was a formative event for my perception that District personnel think image is everything, even without substance.

Lack of Support Effects Us All

Thanks to the Gradebook for keeping tabs.

I wrote about this issue in February regarding the SpEd teacher accused of mistreating her students. If one is in doubt, click on the link to the reports the investigators made, and then read them.

I followed my first post with this one.

There is today a follow up story.

My focus is not about the acts of the teacher. My focus is on the systemic issues that face all of us, not just special education teachers, students, and parents.

My focus is on the "lack of support" in all phases of our education system. This includes lack of support in educating the educators and providing support to the educators. I have read reports that have found that the single most reported reason why teachers leave the profession is lack of professional support.

Below is an excerpt from the Herald Tribune that frames the issue:

"The turnover rate among special-needs teachers is one of the highest in the profession, with Florida losing about 14 percent of the educators in this area each year.

The high stress of the job, along with what teachers say is limited support and resources, drives people out of these classrooms.

"They don't spend enough money on training, and they don't give them enough support," said Sharon Boyd, a member of the Charlotte County chapter of the advocacy group Autism Speaks. "No wonder no one wants to do it."

Finding full-time certified teachers to fill the spots is a challenge under the most normal circumstances.

Recruiting substitutes who typically do not have the same training or experience is even more difficult.

"What seems to happen is the individual working with them doesn't really have good training in how to handle unusual behavior," said Peter Wright, an attorney and advocate for special-needs children. "They get frustrated.""


Behavior of a student is the most critical issue educators face. How to appropriately address behavior may be the most missed aspect of our educational systems.

Behavior is communication. Pure and simple. Yet, instead of trying to understand what is being communicated and addressing the issue, all too often we attempt to address the behavior.

I will relate a story to illustrate my point. Years ago when my son was around six or seven, on some days on the way to school he would start kicking the dashboard and flailing around. To make a long story monotonous, I finally figured out that it was because I didn't stop at McDonalds on those days. It took me weeks to figure out that most days I stopped and got coffee for me and a cinnamon roll whatever for him. But some days I didn't, and he went nuts. His reaction was delayed, therefore making what could have been a more readily recognized correlation between passing McDonalds and the onset of his fit. So I would say what I have so many times hear teachers say: "For no reason at all, he just started hitting the dashboard".

I could blame my son. Or I could blame myself because I did not understand what he was "saying". The fact that he was communicating in a manner that was unacceptable not only did not get him what he wanted, it brought on consequences that made matters worse. For both of us. Because I could not understand kicking the dashboard miles down the road as "Dad, you didn't stop at McDonalds" or "Dad, I wanted a cini-mini".

It was my job, as a responsible adult,to learn what he was trying to communicate. It was my job, as a responsible adult, to then educate him on how to communicate more appropriately.

Years later, I had another one of these moments. My son had come home from the Helen Keller National Center for Deaf/Blind in New York. The morning we were to go to the airport to go back, he was in his room rummaging around, obviously looking for something in his electronic game stuff. I kept signing to him it was time to go. He kept rummaging. I kept signing. Finally, I physically moved him out of his room and off we went.

When we finally got to his room at HKNC, we opened up his luggage to get out the new Play Station games he so loves to play. But there was no eagerness on his part. I kept prodding and he signed "game broke". He was right. I asked the staff what was wrong with the system and they said he was missing some kind of cable the game system needed. It hit me then that that was what he was trying to find, many hours ago. I still get emotionally overwhelmed at my shortcomings, not his.

Our system is unfortunately more about punishing behaviors as an attempt to extinguish them. I have a pretty good understanding of operant conditioning. I also know that we will get more of what we pay attention to. The logical extension of that statement is that if we focus on negative behavior, even though we may be trying to extinguish it, because we have chosen to focus on it, we will get more of it. When kids get angry at us, it may be that their only goal (although misplaced) is to get us angry. They will face whatever consequences comes to them as long as they know we are angry too.


What we fail to recognize is that if we just had the capability of translating their behaviors correctly, then dealt with the real issue, most negative behaviors would lessen.


**********

I just read this from an e-mail sent to me.

Amanda Baggs says it better than me:


"These forms of nonverbal stimuli constitute her "native language," Baggs explains, and are no better or worse than spoken language. Yet her failure to speak is seen as a deficit, she says, while other people's failure to learn her language is seen as natural and acceptable."

Do You Have What It Takes

Most of us think we are good at what we do.

I know that I have faced challanges that most parents never have or will. But I also have seen up close and personal the challanges that other parents have that make mine look like a walk in the park.

Karen Clay and Michael Phillips are mother and son that set a standard few of us will ever meet.

Check this out.