Time for an allegory

Having watched the HCDS (or is it SDHC) Board meeting today, I will attempt to create an allegory using the newer Board members and advocating parents of special education students in the public schools.

Both sets are given a set of rules when they first start. Both sets trust that they will be dealt with honestly. Both sets take their time to anaylze what happens, and overlook things that don't seem right as they try to learn their way.

When conditions reach the point that the situation is perceived as wrong, both sets start to act on their emotions. They try to make sense of things. They use logic and try to bring in information. They act on a field of what they think is common sense. It is at this point when both sets start to learn the hard facts about how the system really works and how customs and laws effect the course of events. These customs and laws come out as they are needed.

Each set starts to see that their lack of knowledge is used against them. Each set starts to learn the rules, but they are far behind in understanding how they work and also knowing how to make them work. For special ed parents it starts with their procedural safeguards summary, which a lot of professionals do not understand, then leads to a need for full comprehension of IDEA.

I heard things said by Board members tonight that were aptly labled "under the radar". As a parent, I have heard those types of comments in many settings. I "am not a trained educator". I "have too much emotion involved to know what is best for my son". I "need to trust the professional's that have been doing this a long time". (ask me sometime about the SPELLING WORD LISTS or the computer screen that no one could use).

Another comment I heard tonight jogged my memory. Years ago, I was in a long meeting with several high ranking district people. One of them, after hours of discussion, made the statement "If you don't trust us, then we don't need to be talking". In hind sight, I should have got up and left. The issues at hand were real. Trust was secondary to the issues that were being hammered out. But it was used as "power tool" to place me in a subserviant position. It's like making your kid tell you they love you when they are mad at you. If the District had done the right things instead of what was proven to be wrong, we wouldn't be where we were. To say things like that in a setting like that is an abuse of the relationship.

I know that it takes a lot of resources for a parent to continue to advocate for a special ed kid when things go wrong. The system is a good trainer for those who are willing to learn from it. And those who learn will be very strong in the end. Both parents and Board members.